


Andromedatober 2020

by Blackwolf5000



Category: Andromeda Six (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26776195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackwolf5000/pseuds/Blackwolf5000
Summary: Warnings and tags will be added as they apply!
Relationships: Vexx Serif/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 12





	1. Day One - Alone

“You’re so stupid,” Brennya hissed. “Why are you so stupid?” Her voice had turned into nothing but a whine as she stared up at her reflection-- eyes red from attempting to hold back tears all night, makeup perfect as ever and gown glittering under the lights of the bathroom.

She hated it. Her siblings had been right when they called her a fool. It didn’t matter how many books she read or how deeply she had attempted to analyze those around her. At the end of the day, she was still just the last born-- a nobody. No one would miss her if she disappeared. Hell-- if she was found dead she was sure half of her siblings would do nothing but laugh. At most, mother would be disappointed at the stains she’d have left on the bedding.

_Nerissa._

Brennya bit her lip hard enough to draw blood as she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, attempting to remove her sister’s face from her mind. Nerissa’s gaze was never one to be easily shaken, however-- not in real life, and certainly not now as Brennya chewed up her already raw cheek. She was strong-willed, kind, fierce and ambitious. The only person in that god forsaken palace that so much as took the time to even glance at Brennya.

Still, paranoia and regret reared its ugly head. What if it was all a lie? A ruse? Nerissa was a queen-- or soon to be one, anyway. Lying came naturally to her. Or what if it was all just pity? Sadness for the last-born Peg’asi; the same pity that Nerissa felt for those in the Bronze District.

_Why, why, **why**_ \-- the same question burned in her mind so fiercely that it ached, hands digging into the ceramic sink in a poor attempt to keep steady. Emotions seemed to be tearing her up from the inside out.

Regret for her weakness, resentment for her family, fury at herself for being so foolish-- the list didn’t have an end as she glared into her own blue gaze.

“Why are you so--” The statement didn’t make it out from her grit teeth. This wasn’t right. There was an answer for everything, a motive for every action, but Brennya couldn’t even begin to piece together the humiliation and shame burning in her chest. Just how cruel could her siblings be?

Just how much worse could it get?

She was tired of being the pawn and the scapegoat and the punching bag. She was tired of hoping for tomorrow to be different or better. She lived with a family of liars and thieves, rotten heathens with platinum exteriors. But she knew better.

And if she had to become someone else to survive, rip out her own emotions and break her own heart before someone else could-- then so be it.

> “It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.”
> 
> \- David Levithan, _Every Day_


	2. Day Two - Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peep me not being able to write Vexx.

“I have to admit, Serif,” Brennya looked about the balcony they were sitting on, sun shining down on her, “I would’ve never taken you for the cafe type.”

“Oh, I’m not. But one look at the stupid scholarly exterior and I knew I had to drag you here.”

Brennya gave him a look before she kicked him under the table, taking an innocent sip of her coffee as Vexx raised a brow at her.

“Should I be reading deeper into that sentence?” she questioned.

“I’ve seen your bedroom, and I can’t say there’s much of a difference, _Princess_ \--” Vexx whispered out her title, smirking when she smacked his arm in annoyance.

“ _Vexx._ ”

“What?” He asked innocently, tilting his head and giving her a big clueless stare. “Can I not use pet names for my _sweet_ darling?” He was being obnoxious now, eyes alight with mischief as he spoke in a gushy voice that had Brennya’s face contorting into a mix of amusement and repulsion while he leaned in close. “Honey bear, sweetie pie, _cupid’s ass--_ ”

Brennya let out a bark of a laugh before covering her mouth, cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

“You do realize no one is watching you here, right?” Vexx asked, tilting his head. "At least no one important," he tacked on with a grin. Brennya took the chance to just _look_ at him as she pretended to ponder his question. His green gaze only seemed to be softer in the golden light of the sun, red hair just as vibrant as the plethora of roses that adorned the Gold District.

After a moment, Brennya let out a sigh and rested her chin on her hand, stirring her coffee with the glass stick .

“I know,” she said finally. “I just...I might forget.” When Vexx’s brows furrowed she stopped stirring to tap the stick gently on the side of the ornate cup and set it back down on the napkin. “When I go back to the palace,” she elaborated.

“Oh.”

The mood darkened ever so slightly, the both of them silently looking at her coffee: a teaspoon of sugar, two counts of milk, and a pump of caramel.

“But...maybe you’re right,” Brennya spoke up. Her hand grabbed his hand that rested on the table, thumb running over his calloused knuckles. His gaze met hers, and there was something in it that wasn't there before. Something that had her mouth going dry and heart fluttering. It was almost too much in its intensity as she averted her gaze to look at their now intertwined hands, more than aware of his eyes on her.

“Brennya…” he spoke her name softly, as if it were a mantra or prayer, and it was then that she knew the love poems towered high in her room had not been hyperbolic.

But when she went to look at him again, the smell of coffee was suddenly gone, and she could not feel Vexx’s hand in her own, the sun growing dimmer, and dimmer, and dimmer, until the vibrant scene in front of her was nothing but gray and then _black_.

Her eyes opened to the all-consuming darkness of her room, suffocatingly silent except for the hum of the ship’s engine.

Maybe they had been right when they said it was better to not remember anything at all.

> "Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces."
> 
> \- Richard Kadrey, _Kill the Dead_


	3. Day Three - Chase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Traveler mentioned in chapter 4 that Arlo threw their holopad in a fountain once and I wanted to expand on that because ~*backstory*~.
> 
> WARNING: Very brief (two sentences) describing a burn wound and mentioning blood. Not really enough to tag the whole work as graphic, but a heads up for those that need it!

Brennya was used to the quiet. It gave her space, allowed room for the concentration that she so desperately needed as she lost herself in textbooks and the arts.

It was never easy finding reliable information. While there was a plethora of books in her room, most of them were nothing but propaganda or blatantly censored with entire pages being redacted. It had been a short search when she turned to the internet with the restrictions placed on all the tech she had, not to mention she didn't need all of her searches being directly reported to her mother. 

But Vexx had managed to sneak in a large book on the history of Goldis-- including the parts that weren't pretty, even through a rose colored lens. _"You might as well have asked me to kidnap Nerissa--"_ Vexx had said when he handed her the large and heavy book. She remembered how dusty its cover was. Whoever had previously owned the book would certainly not be missing it.

_"How much did it cost?"_ Brennya remembered asking. Vexx just gave her a non-committal smirk as he handed her back all of the credits she had given to him.

_"I think there's more important things to get in trouble stealing money for than a book."_

She had dusted off the old cover and fixed the binding. Thankfully, it was in decent condition-- no severe water damage or termites. It had the near euphoric smell only true paper books were truly capable of producing as Brennya read through the pages, pen in hand as she furiously scribbled down notes. She had never been a fan of typing things down.

Her focus on the book was all the distraction Arlo had needed to slip into her room and snag her holopad off her large desk before she had the chance to even look at him.

"What are you doing in here?" Brennya asked, blue gaze flickering from his face to the small device in his hand and back again. It was a genuine question-- no one ever came to visit her with the exception of Nerissa.

"Just thought I'd stop by." He grinned. "Give my _darling_ sister a visit." 

Brennya fought the scowl that threatened to sit on her face, instead offering him an equally placating smile as she sat her pen down. One would think they'd get along better due to their proximity in age-- Arlo only a few months older than her. But that was implying that Arlo had decency-- but that was just another word that he didn't have in his vocabulary; that and maturity. 

"And what is the nature of this visit?" Brennya asked, watching him circle around her room as he stared down at her holopad, attempting to unlock it and continuously getting the code wrong. The device quickly lost his interest once it turned black after another failed password, effectively locking him out.

"Just a check up," he said finally, picking books from her bookshelf only to inspect their covers and haphazardly drop them onto the marble floor. Brennya's knuckles turned white from how tightly she gripped the edges of her chair. She knew well enough by now that giving Arlo a reaction only made things worse, forcing her instead to be complacent as she watched the destruction of century-old texts. "So many books," he muttered, spinning on his heel to face her. "What do you do with all of these, anyway?"

Brennya only raised a single brow at him, a grin forming on his face as he sauntered up to her.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"I'm surprised you even know that phrase," Brennya scoffed, "nonetheless what a book is."

"I forgot you're no fun," Arlo muttered. "I wonder if that'd change if..." he looked down at her holopad. "Wonder what father would do if you happened to throw a fit and ruin a perfectly new, right off the line, holopad?"

"That's assuming you'd ever get the chance to talk to him," Brennya said.

"True...but you also wouldn't be able to get a new one...since, you know, you couldn't _tell_ him, of course."

"And how would that be any fun to you? Are you going to sit in my room and watch me mope for hours on end?"

"No...but you wouldn't be able to communicate with your stupid little guard, then, either."

"You need a better sense of amusement if this is how far you'll stoop."

The two of them stared at each other for a split second. Maybe, if he broke the holopad, she could get into contact with Nerissa before it ever became a problem. But that was a pretty big fucking maybe. It was mostly likely Nerissa wouldn't be free until tonight, if even then, and mother would undoubtedly find out by then, and then father-- or perhaps Arlo would be able to convince Celeste help him, which was just a recipe for disaster either way. The doubt must've shown on her face, since his grin took a much more sadistic turn.

"Garden fountain, west side, by the gate."

"Wha-- _Arlo!"_

Without warning he sprinted out of the room, Brennya rushing out after him and nearly sending the chair she was sitting in toppling. He had the advantage of being taller, not wearing a gaudy dress, and, of course, not being forced to wear heels as he went sliding around one of the corners, leaving Brennya to do nothing but curse under her breath. He would make a scene for as long as she chased them, only heightening their chances of getting caught. 

_Maybe_...

Her gaze landed on a tapestry on the wall-- one that hid a passage that would very conveniently get her down a level and to the garden. But, as brash as Arlo was, he wasn't stupid. If he found out about the passages...

_"Stop doubting yourself," Vexx huffed. "If you were wrong we'd've been caught already."_

"You're waring off on me," Brennya muttered to herself, glancing around the hallways to make sure the coast was clear before sneaking under the tapestry and rushing through the dim passage, dress in her hands in an attempt to keep the fine fabric from dragging in the dark. The only thing she could hear was her own labored breathing as she prayed she'd make it to the garden before Arlo.

When she reached the exit she pressed her ear against the door, only able to pray it would be quiet-- and to her delight for once it was silent in the lower levels as she snuck out under yet another tapestry to stand in the western wings hall, hearing the stomping feet of Arlo as he barreled toward her location. She hid behind a statue, waiting until he ran just by her to leap out, enjoying his startled gasp.

"Arlo-- give me the holopad. _Now_."

"Let me think about that," he said, gaze going just past her, "no." 

A grunt left Brennya as he pushed her shoulders back. What she had expected to be the cold marble floor was instead another body, the sound of crashing metal and glass being the only warning before a hot, _boiling_ , liquid went spilling onto Brennya's side.

"Your-- Your Highness!" Brennya looked down at the tea stains on her gown, flesh red and peeling before looking up at the shaking servant. Half of the cups on the tray had fallen onto the floor and shattered, blood on both the servant's hands and Brennya's arm from the glass. When Brennya looked for Arlo he was already gone, the door outside swinging still from where he disappeared. 

"I'm fine," Brennya said. "Are you alright?"

"You're burned!" The servant said, voice frantic, eyes wide with terror. Brennya took it upon herself to look over the frightened person, scanning for any injuries. Once they seemed free of any burns she sucked in a deep breath.

"Listen," Brennya settled her hands on the servant's shoulders. "You are going to listen to me and do what I tell you, correct?"

"Yes, Your Highness--"

"What is all this noise?" The sound of Lucrezia's voice rang throughout the hall, the servant freezing in place as Brennya slowly turned to face the Queen. The cold gaze of her mother never grew less intimidating through the years as she approached silently, guards behind her, sneering down at Brennya as she looked at the mess. "I was curious as to why Arlo was running around screaming that you threw your holopad into the fountain during a fit of...whatever this is," she stated. "But attacking a servant?" The Queen grabbed Brennya's wrist so tightly it ached, leering down over her.

"Like it or not, you _are_ my daughter. And I will not permit any damage to my name, do you understand that?" Lucrezia hissed. Brennya could do nothing but stare up at her mother, heart sinking in her chest.

Tonight would not be an easy one.

> “Generally speaking, punishment makes men hard and cold; it concentrates; it sharpens the feeling of alienation; it strengthens the power of resistance”  
>  ― Friedrich Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morals / Ecce Homo


	4. Day Four - June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after Chapter Four.

Brennya heard the approaching footsteps on the bridge, too heavy to be Ryona or Aya, too light to be Calderon-- and the fact they were audible at all ruled out Damon. The lack of any jaunty whistle kicked Bash right off the list.

That left only the resident gunslinger-- June.

"Oh," he stated when he finally entered, grey eyes meeting Brennya's. "I didn't know you were in here."

"It would be pretty impressive if you did," Brennya said. "Unless you secretly keep a map that tells you where everyone's location is...bit intrusive, isn't it?"

"What?" June breathed out, equal parts confused and somehow embarrassed before the sarcasm of the comment registered. Another moment of silence passed. "I can leave." 

"Do you want to join me?"

Their voices overlapped each other, leaving them both to stare at each awkwardly again. June cleared his throat while Brennya made sure he wasn't going to speak again before restating her offer. 

"Do you want to join me?"

June approached where she sat on the bridge, sitting on the seat next to hers as they both peered outside the window. For a moment there was nothing but silence, and Brennya was just thankful for the fact things seemed to be repairing themselves between June and herself. 

"Couldn't sleep," Brennya said. June didn't ask, but from the look in his eyes when he glanced at her, he understood. 

And Brennya understood him now, too, in a way-- that there was something fragile in him that was holding back a force much more dark and powerful than either of them were willing to admit yet. Something that was getting closer and closer to snapping the closer to Orion they got. 

"Do you get used to it?" Brennya asked.

"Used to what?"

"Space."

June let out a chuckle at that, eyes crinkling at the side. At least Brennya's royal cluelessness was good for something.

"I think so, yes," June said, leaning forward onto his knees. "But sometimes, like now, it's still..." he grew silent, eyes filling with an emotion that, if Brennya didn't know better, she'd think was sadness.

"Awe-inspiring?" Brennya asked quietly. June gave a solemn smile.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Awe-inspiring."

The silence returned, allowing Brennya to fall into her own mind yet again. A million thoughts were rushing through her head, and as much as she hated to admit it, since being on the Andromeda Six she's been more emotional than she's been in years. Regret, sadness, confusion, thankfulness-- all of it was a swirling hurricane of madness within her as she sat next to June. But there was one clear want in the midst of all of that. Something that needed to be said, no matter how awkward it made Brennya feel to say or admit.

"June?"

"Hmm?

"Thank you."

"What?" His head snapped to look at her, and Brennya struggled to keep his gaze until giving up entirely. 

"You..." she sighed, running a hand through her hair and letting out a nervous laugh. "You saved my life."

June's face morphed into confusion. "I-- of course. It's what anyone would do."

"But it's not," Brennya argued. "I wouldn't have been there for you to find if that was the case. It wouldn't have been a battle to bring me on board, either. It-- it wouldn't...it's just-- _you're a good person_ , June." Her brain struggled to follow one thought as she sat there, Brennya pulling the breaks on her blabbering before she said something stupid. "You're a good person," she repeated softly. "And I wouldn't even be here without you. So thank you." She finally was able to look him in the eyes, as wide and disbelieving as they were, mouth hanging open ever so slightly. 

"Usually this is the part when you says something," Brennya said sheepishly. June shook his head softly as if to snap himself out of his stupor.

"Then...thank you as well, Brennya."

"For what?"

"Just...thank you."

No more words were exchanged after that. Instead they stayed content to continue looking out at the stars until Brennya felt sleep slowly stake claim on her, only awaking in her bed the next morning when Aya's voice rang out on the comms.


	5. Day Five - Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's go on a journey, on a journey through time-- takes place between Chapter 3 and Chapter 4.

_"_ _Sit up. Smile. Not that way-- more subtle, softer. Good."_

Brennya's grip on the manual in her hands tightened.

_"Brennya threw her phone in the fountain! She's having a_ _meltdown! Someone needs to stop her before she--"_

She shook her head, promptly closing the manual to the navigation systems in her lap. She had only managed to read the intro before getting bored and zoning out only for the voices to come back.

_"S_ _he_ _can't keep getting away with this behavior. She needs to be punished."_

She launched herself up from the bed. 

_"Be strong, Brennya. Th_ _ey all want to see you break. Do not give them the pleasure of ever seeing the day you do."_

"Smart wording, huh, Neri?" Brennya muttered, fingers running through her hair and ripping through the knots they encountered. "You never said not to break--" she turned to look at her reflection in the small mirror above the sink. Her pupils were so small that they might as well not have existed, hair sticking up in random directions. "Just don't let them see it," she breathed. 

She walked toward the sink, hands grabbing the metallic sides as she leaned in close, peering into her own eyes, desperate to find something-- _anything_. But there was nothing. Just emptiness surrounded by mania. 

It would be a lie to say she had never pondered about the death of her family while they were still alive. She wondered if she would miss them. If it would hurt as bad the stories she read said it would. But now that her memories were back, and _they_ were gone, she couldn't say she felt much of anything.

And if there was something, it could only be described as regret for being able to remember at all.

> “Set fire to the broken pieces; start anew.”   
> ― Lauren DeStefano, _Sever_


End file.
